learning lessons through others mistakes....

This post is more of a vent to get something off of my shoulders that I had to deal with over the weekend. Who knows, maybe this could help someone else also. Normally I am not the type of person who even cares to get involved in other peoples business or dealings, however once in awhile I get sucked in for whatever reason and I do not mind. Mostly when it comes to my family I will really speak my mind, and have no problem stepping up to defend someone being taken advantage of. A little background on the situation first. I have a sibling who has borrowed money, bought things from family etc. and has been SUPER irresponsible in paying things back. Well over a year ago this sibling came to my mom and asked to borrow money to replace tires on his car so he could get to and from work safely. Of course with asking he promised to pay her back right away with his bonus he was getting. My mom did not have the cash to lend so she allowed him to charge the tires on a credit card with the understanding it would be paid back at bonus time. HUGE mistake on my moms part but she is super kind and really would help anyone out. I was around pregnant at that time so that is how I even knew about the situation. Well what do you know, bonus time came and went and NO paying my mom back. It was excuse after excuse, and he told my mom I will pay the payment on the card and pay it asap, no worries. RIGHT!!!! Before she knew it she was getting phone calls saying the payment was not being made, and she was having to hound him just to pay the payment. This makes me so upset just typing about it because of the absolute disregard and respect I see coming from family. It gets worse though. So in the meantime a year passes, still not paid my mom back. Christmas rolls around and he is bragging about the amazing gifts he bought for his family. REALLY? So you have the money/credit to go all out at Christmas time yet you cannot pay mom back? I assume the gifts were bought on credit, but honestly that creates a monthly payment that could go towards paying off the debt that is owed to my mother. That ticked me off, but at the time was not my battle to fight although I felt sooo bad for my mom. To be screwed by your own family is a terrible feeling. So over the superbowl I get a voicemail from this sibling inviting us to a party he was throwing and I HAD to come to see his new plasma tv! SERIOUSLY!!! At this point I am just shocked by his actions. It is one thing to borrow money from someone and seriously have an issue being able to pay it back. It is a whole other ballgame to owe someone money, and be out making huge purchases and spending money they obviously do not have. Still though although upset, I was going to stay out of it......until Friday I get a phone call and it is this sibling asking me if I will babysit so he can go to Vegas to gamble!!!!!!!! What???? At this point I cannot believe his cajones!!!! I do not think he realized I knew about the money still owed. So I asked him if he still owed my mom money for the tires, and he was like oh yeah but I pay the monthly payment so were cool.................ummmm nope! At this point I could not keep my mouth shut so I said you pay the minimum payment soooo what? That will take you 15 years to pay it off. What about your original agreement to pay it off right away? You think it is ok to change the arrangement in your mind without sitting down with mom and having a convo about it? You respect her that much? Enough to be soooo poor you cannot afford to pay off your debt, yet you are out shopping with no limits at Christmas time, buying a new Plasma TV for the superbowl, and now calling me to babysit so you can gamble in vegas with your poor ass??? He went on to say he did not think it to be that big of a deal. Then I asked him about not even caring enough to make sure the bill was paid on time and asked if he had any regard for my moms credit, afterall payments wether on time or not are reported to the credit agencies monthly. It will also have a huge impact on APR's my mom will get in the future, and I am sure his paying some super high interest. He said of course I do. I told him you can do whatever you want to ruin your own credit, but to do it to family is the lowest of low. We live in a world where your credit rating is HUGE!!! One late payment will affect it, and to do it more than once is a shame. I explained although I am sure he is aware that credit is needed to buy a home, get a good APR on a new car, really for TONS of stuff. I told him just keeping that money in my moms name shows as HER debt so if she goes to buy a new car they see it as money she owes, not him. I then went on to say borrowing money from family should be a LAST resort, and if it is borrowed you should take extra caution to make sure it gets paid back when you say, and if not sit down and make arrangements with the person you borrow from. You better believe if it was up to me to make a payment monthly in someone elses name for my debt I would be making that payment 2 weeks before it was due to avoid any problems. If my mom was a bank his tires would have been taken away long ago. I explained to him that Trav and I have never borrowed a penny from anyone, and family would be the LAST place we would go for money. There are plenty of things in our home we could sell if we had to if something came up and we needed to come up with funds. Some people might say money ruins relationships, but it really is the lack of respect shown that does it. Trav and I both agree that what my sibling did is one of the worst things family could do. So I think I was getting through to him when he started talking about Vegas and not spending much money. I told him there is NO way to go to vegas without spending alot, and he has no business gambling $1 or even stepping foot into a casino when he owes money to family. I encouraged him to sit back and put himself in my moms shoes, and imagine lending someone money on your credit because they REALLY needed it, and over the next year see them buying things that you could never afford yet they still owe you money? He admited it would not feel good, and he would be angry. I then told him obviously he has credit available somewhere so if he does not have the cash he needed to transfer that balance from my moms credit to his, and if not he needed to sell his camera or plasma tv to pay it off. He agreed that he needed to do something. I think I opened his eyes, and I hope he is sincere in taking care of it. The lesson learned here is to NEVER loan cash you arent willing to just throw away, and NEVER lend money on your credit to ANYONE!!!! You may think lending to family would be ok, but sadly often times they are the first to poop on you! lol Funny way to put it but it is true. It is a shame the lack of respect and care for family I have seen in many situations in my life. Trust is something that is uber important in my life, and if you cant trust your family who can you trust. I have had my share of dealing with lending money and not getting it back, and it is not a good feeling. Needless to say I told my sibling no to babysitting because I had other plans, but would have not even if I had a free weekend. Normally I hate getting into the middle of stuff, but here I felt like I helped out or atleast I hope I did. I think many can learn from this situation, and I feel so bad for my mom. She is amazing and would do anything for her children, so it is so sad for me to see her have to deal with such a crappy situation. Well Bailey will be up soon, and although the weekend was not super eventful besides this drama I will try and blog tonight because I do have some cute pics to post. I have to get groceries done this morning and head to the fabric store. I have a goal of atleast 10 diapers to make this week. We have decided to open my own business afterall not so much for extra income but something fun for me to get into and be proud of. I will blog more later, it is pancake making time! :)