learning lessons through others mistakes....

This post is more of a vent to get something off of my shoulders that I had to deal with over the weekend. Who knows, maybe this could help someone else also. Normally I am not the type of person who even cares to get involved in other peoples business or dealings, however once in awhile I get sucked in for whatever reason and I do not mind. Mostly when it comes to my family I will really speak my mind, and have no problem stepping up to defend someone being taken advantage of. A little background on the situation first. I have a sibling who has borrowed money, bought things from family etc. and has been SUPER irresponsible in paying things back. Well over a year ago this sibling came to my mom and asked to borrow money to replace tires on his car so he could get to and from work safely. Of course with asking he promised to pay her back right away with his bonus he was getting. My mom did not have the cash to lend so she allowed him to charge the tires on a credit card with the understanding it would be paid back at bonus time. HUGE mistake on my moms part but she is super kind and really would help anyone out. I was around pregnant at that time so that is how I even knew about the situation. Well what do you know, bonus time came and went and NO paying my mom back. It was excuse after excuse, and he told my mom I will pay the payment on the card and pay it asap, no worries. RIGHT!!!! Before she knew it she was getting phone calls saying the payment was not being made, and she was having to hound him just to pay the payment. This makes me so upset just typing about it because of the absolute disregard and respect I see coming from family. It gets worse though. So in the meantime a year passes, still not paid my mom back. Christmas rolls around and he is bragging about the amazing gifts he bought for his family. REALLY? So you have the money/credit to go all out at Christmas time yet you cannot pay mom back? I assume the gifts were bought on credit, but honestly that creates a monthly payment that could go towards paying off the debt that is owed to my mother. That ticked me off, but at the time was not my battle to fight although I felt sooo bad for my mom. To be screwed by your own family is a terrible feeling. So over the superbowl I get a voicemail from this sibling inviting us to a party he was throwing and I HAD to come to see his new plasma tv! SERIOUSLY!!! At this point I am just shocked by his actions. It is one thing to borrow money from someone and seriously have an issue being able to pay it back. It is a whole other ballgame to owe someone money, and be out making huge purchases and spending money they obviously do not have. Still though although upset, I was going to stay out of it......until Friday I get a phone call and it is this sibling asking me if I will babysit so he can go to Vegas to gamble!!!!!!!! What???? At this point I cannot believe his cajones!!!! I do not think he realized I knew about the money still owed. So I asked him if he still owed my mom money for the tires, and he was like oh yeah but I pay the monthly payment so were cool.................ummmm nope! At this point I could not keep my mouth shut so I said you pay the minimum payment soooo what? That will take you 15 years to pay it off. What about your original agreement to pay it off right away? You think it is ok to change the arrangement in your mind without sitting down with mom and having a convo about it? You respect her that much? Enough to be soooo poor you cannot afford to pay off your debt, yet you are out shopping with no limits at Christmas time, buying a new Plasma TV for the superbowl, and now calling me to babysit so you can gamble in vegas with your poor ass??? He went on to say he did not think it to be that big of a deal. Then I asked him about not even caring enough to make sure the bill was paid on time and asked if he had any regard for my moms credit, afterall payments wether on time or not are reported to the credit agencies monthly. It will also have a huge impact on APR's my mom will get in the future, and I am sure his paying some super high interest. He said of course I do. I told him you can do whatever you want to ruin your own credit, but to do it to family is the lowest of low. We live in a world where your credit rating is HUGE!!! One late payment will affect it, and to do it more than once is a shame. I explained although I am sure he is aware that credit is needed to buy a home, get a good APR on a new car, really for TONS of stuff. I told him just keeping that money in my moms name shows as HER debt so if she goes to buy a new car they see it as money she owes, not him. I then went on to say borrowing money from family should be a LAST resort, and if it is borrowed you should take extra caution to make sure it gets paid back when you say, and if not sit down and make arrangements with the person you borrow from. You better believe if it was up to me to make a payment monthly in someone elses name for my debt I would be making that payment 2 weeks before it was due to avoid any problems. If my mom was a bank his tires would have been taken away long ago. I explained to him that Trav and I have never borrowed a penny from anyone, and family would be the LAST place we would go for money. There are plenty of things in our home we could sell if we had to if something came up and we needed to come up with funds. Some people might say money ruins relationships, but it really is the lack of respect shown that does it. Trav and I both agree that what my sibling did is one of the worst things family could do. So I think I was getting through to him when he started talking about Vegas and not spending much money. I told him there is NO way to go to vegas without spending alot, and he has no business gambling $1 or even stepping foot into a casino when he owes money to family. I encouraged him to sit back and put himself in my moms shoes, and imagine lending someone money on your credit because they REALLY needed it, and over the next year see them buying things that you could never afford yet they still owe you money? He admited it would not feel good, and he would be angry. I then told him obviously he has credit available somewhere so if he does not have the cash he needed to transfer that balance from my moms credit to his, and if not he needed to sell his camera or plasma tv to pay it off. He agreed that he needed to do something. I think I opened his eyes, and I hope he is sincere in taking care of it. The lesson learned here is to NEVER loan cash you arent willing to just throw away, and NEVER lend money on your credit to ANYONE!!!! You may think lending to family would be ok, but sadly often times they are the first to poop on you! lol Funny way to put it but it is true. It is a shame the lack of respect and care for family I have seen in many situations in my life. Trust is something that is uber important in my life, and if you cant trust your family who can you trust. I have had my share of dealing with lending money and not getting it back, and it is not a good feeling. Needless to say I told my sibling no to babysitting because I had other plans, but would have not even if I had a free weekend. Normally I hate getting into the middle of stuff, but here I felt like I helped out or atleast I hope I did. I think many can learn from this situation, and I feel so bad for my mom. She is amazing and would do anything for her children, so it is so sad for me to see her have to deal with such a crappy situation. Well Bailey will be up soon, and although the weekend was not super eventful besides this drama I will try and blog tonight because I do have some cute pics to post. I have to get groceries done this morning and head to the fabric store. I have a goal of atleast 10 diapers to make this week. We have decided to open my own business afterall not so much for extra income but something fun for me to get into and be proud of. I will blog more later, it is pancake making time! :)

When plans go out the window!

No plan around here is ever set in stone! lol Yesterday I had planned to go spend the day with my mom since it is one of her days off, but did not end up going. She had some company in town, and I would rather have her all to myself when we hang out so that is what we will do next week. I am planning Bailey's bday party and she is going to help me with some details among other things. With my day free yesterday of course I came up with TONS to do in no time. I did my carpet cleaning, all my daily cleaning, and started to organize everything for the loft. It is being made into Bailey's play area, because she has SO many toys it really is ridiculous. I actually think I may put some away because it seems to be a little overwhelming for her when we play. Every night after dinner we head up to play before bed, and it is so much fun to just sit and watch her. She is really into clapping at the moment, and does it all the time. She also talks alot! I wonder where she gets that from? :) We have been trying so hard to get her to crawl forward but she just not want to. She goes backwards, and rolls everywhere but will not go forward. We are not going to force her, and I figure she is going to just start walking because she does really well with that holding my hands. She runs around like no other in her walker, it is sooo funny to see. Yesterday though when I was working out downstairs she just sat in her walker still just staring at me. I have been running on the treadmill everyday and doing taebo, or some other work out video every day. Once I reach my goal of atleast 20 pounds lost, I get to do some serious clothes shopping. Talk about motivation! lol Yesterday though I figured out that with our on demand cox there are tons of work out videos. Dont laugh, but yesterday I did a workout video by Carmen Electra that was a hip hop dance work out. If any of you could have been a fly on the wall you would have laughed SO hard. I could see why Bailey was just staring at me! She also has her strip tease workout on there and Trav was super interested in that! lol He said you better get that one on video if you decide to do it! He is such a funny guy, as I would look nothing like Carmen Electra~ So I am down already 3 pounds, and I feel great. The biggest difference for me is the ammount of energy that I gain from working out. I cannot wait to be super thin again, and buy some new clothes! Another thing that I would love to change on most days is my hair! It is sooooo long, and a PITA to take care of but Trav says no to cutting it off. He says any short hair is a fat chick haircut, and thinks my hair is sexy. I will admit it is nice to have such long hair because not alot of people have hair this long. I just wish it took less time to do. I have thought about doing something different and funky maybe with the color that could include a little pink. Of course Trav thinks that is silly, last night he said "you are not a rocker chick, you listen to country music so that would make you a poser"! Whatever........I think I may go partial pink. I enjoy being different. Last night for dinner I made a yummy dinner of southwestern style hamburgers on the grill, and fresh carrots. I made the buns which came out delish as always, made roasted garlic mayo, and even started the charcoal grill all by myself because Trav had to work late. If you want the recipes I would love to share, just ask. I included some pics of my food last night, and pics from playing before bed. Yesterday when I was making my buns I cracked a egg and it had 2 yolks! I think that means some good luck in my future, but I do not know how I could be any luckier than I already am! I am off to run on the treamill, and make some breakfast!

Who knew the sound of a dryer going can be so peaceful....

Once again another Monday is gone and my little family is tucked into bed, minus me! We are looking into tearing apart our masterbath and putting in a jacuzzi tub, so I have been up doing research on the best way to go about doing it. It will be alot of work but would be so nice to have such a relaxing place to have a glass of wine and read a good book after B is tucked into bed. I thought I would hop on and share our busy weekend and some pictures. The weekend started off awesome as always and I am reminded everyday of what an amazing partner I have in Trav. He is so supportive and kind in all areas of our life, I am truly blessed. As you all know I have been sewing with my new serger (seriously the best gift I have ever received) and decided to make Bailey a shirt on a whim Saturday afternoon before heading to dinner with family. I HATE patterns so I just whipped it up as I went and it came out so cute. I have so many friends trying to talk me into starting up a website to sell my goods. I am not ready to devote tons of time to it, so it is a no for now. Trav and Bailey were both napping while I was sewing away and when he brought her downstairs he saw what I had been doing. It was then that he turned to Bailey and said "We are so lucky to have a mommy that can do so much". Of course it feels so wonderful to hear him say these things. Afterall a few nights before he made a comment to me that "people" think he is crazy for "allowing" me to be a stay at home mom. Now I did not even want to know if this is something someone said or just a vibe he gets from people. I could see one of his clueless friends saying something like that. The allowing part I find hilarious because me staying home was a decision we made LONG before we had Bailey, and he went on to say he doesnt think people understand, or maybe they are coming from a place of envy, or maybe they think me being a stay at home mom is a way of freeloading! LOL My response to him is who knows, I personally do not care what other people think, and it is not my job to make anyone understand why we make the choices we do for our family including me being a stay at home mom. Anyone who would look down on someone wanting to parent their child 100% of the time when they are able to live off of one income is ignorant in my opinion. Of course we both make small sacrafices for it to be possible, like Trav can't go to the bar 2x a week anymore and I do not spend 200 on getting my hair done, and we would both be willing to give up soooo much more if we had to so I can take care of our home. We got a good laugh over it all, and we both understand it will not be the last thing that "people" think we are crazy for. Weather it be a stranger, friend, or family someone is bound to have an opinion on something we are doing, but whatever that's life. I choose to turn a deaf ear. After having that interesting conversation, it was sweet to hear his kind words. So that afternoon headed out to Chili's for dinner where Bailey decided she was going to have a blowout during dinner. She may have been the first baby to get a bath in the bathroom sink at Chilis! lol What a mess it was, and did a number on her shirt I had just made. After some serious stain treating, I was able to get some pics of her in it today. Dinner was yummy and we headed to my nephew Anthonys birthday party at a bowling alley. We bought him this video game he wanted soooo bad and the look of shock on his face was priceless when I gave him our gift. It is sooo hard for me to believe he is 10 already! I remember holding him for the first time, and just falling in love. He is such a good kid and we had alot of fun. The kids are so drawn to Trav and Abigail kept having him bowl for her so he could help her win. It was nice to see my mom and sister since we do not get out that way much. It was great to hang out and just relax in a laid back environment. I miss the kids dearly so it was nice to have that time. Sunday was the superbowl and we packed up and went to a party that Travs friend was throwing. We drove seperate so I could head home early and get B in to bed, plus Trav brought his gokart to give the kids rides. His friends wife also stays home with her babies so it was fun to chat with her. I ended up having to leave before the game was over because Bailey was soooo tired. I had plenty of time to enjoy myself though and everyone was surprised that Bailey was such a happy baby. The cardinals lost, and Trav says it was because B left before the game was over. She was one little pooped cheerleader! Yesterday we also realized that little miss B has 2 more teeth on top. Now she has 8 teeth!!!! She cracks us up with her cute little smile. This morning I asked her if she wanted pancakes for breakfast and she said......Yeah! It was too funny. This weekend coming up should be another busy one, since we have a bday party to go to on Saturday and the chocolate festival in Glendale hopefully on Sunday. Well I better get to bed, Bailey and I are headed out to spend the day with my mom hopefully tomorrow, and I have some diapers to fold and put away before I check in.

Video of Doctor talking the truth about HFCS even without mercury!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67NMir6K0xk

Quick link on the peanut fiasco and now mercury found in high fructose corn syrup

This article goes to prove my point that "the big guys" do not give a damn about us or our children. It is all about making a product at the cheapest way even if that means putting the consumer and our children in danger while doing so. In light of the peanut recall, another story has been overshadowed regarding mercury being found in high fructose corn syrup which can be found in ALOT of stuff. This sweetner can be made in a safe way, but is not being done but rather companies are taking the cheaper route for themselves. This type of stuff angers me to no end, and that is why I am shying away from any food that is processed. I hope to eliminate all in the future. Mercury is bad for anyone but deadly to our little ones, and HFCS can be found in TONS of childrens snacks, drinks, etc. I am learning new ways to make Baileys snacks and such myself. Here is a very interesting article, and although it is a long one very informative~ http://www.democracynow.org/2009/1/29/food_safety_georgia_plant_knowingly_shipped

~9 1/2 Months~

Where has the time gone? Today our little girl is 9 1/2 months old! It is crazy how fast time flies, but boy are we having a blast! It is so much fun to see her learning so many new things, and become such a smart little girl with such attitude! lol We are working on trying to redirect her behaviors when she gets frustrated because she is starting to hit, and scratch. I feel like it is so early to be dealing with that, but she does not have a way to communicate her feelings since she can't talk yet. I am thinking of starting to sign with her, and see if that helps. She tends to get her bossy ways when it gets close to bedtime and she is just pooped. She definitely has Travs temper and stubborn ways. She is starting to pick up on us teaching her to be nice when she wants to kick some ass! lol Since we came home from Flag I was ill and trying to mend without having to take a trip to the doctor and pay a million dollars. That is one huge downside to not being married, that and not sharing the same last name as my bug. The other day Trav suggested we head to the courthouse so that I can have health insurance, but of course I said no because that is not how it will happen. I deserve our day, and it will be a very special one and not in some crappy courthouse. I know that is not how he wants it either. Anyway so thankfully I was able to get myself up to par without antibiotics which is wonderful. Bailey was the perfect company while I was feeling poopy. While I was sick I searched around online to find some home remedies to help me out, when I came across such sad news and a story I have been following for awhile. A little 3 year old girl out here in Gilbert had been battling a brain tumor since birth, and lost her fight the other day. This story touched me greatly when I first heard about Briannah months ago. At the time I read about her and her parents I admired their strength, and belief in the power of prayer. To face this terminal illness with such strength is something I am not so sure I could do. They kept a website for her and often posted updates and pictures of their precious little girl. http://www.babybriannah.org/, here is a poem written and posted on the website that just really touched my heart:

Briannah's Homecoming

Unexpectedly invited to witness a most intimate moment

Her Father says she left her earthly body less than an hour ago

Invited into her room Her Mother holds the three year old's body in her arms Wrapped in a soft blanket

Low lights, background praise music Her Mother strokes her baby girl's downy soft blond hair She holds her close to her body, speaking softly to Jesus about her beautiful daughter

Her Father speaks tenderly of the coming moments - to bathe their baby girl for the last time, to cut a lock of her hair

The peace they have - she's held in Jesus' arms now Home at last.

Wishing they were with her. Knowing He's not ready for them yet. Only sweet Briannah.

I know for me it really put into perspective my life and what awesome things I have to be thankful for. I know alot of friends/family are facing alot of different trying times from losing homes, jobs, and in some cases everything. It is now though that it is good to sit back and look at the bigger picture. If Trav was to lose his job today, our home was to be taken and all our posessions gone we would still have eachother and our beautiful daughter, and that is something to be uber grateful for. Jobs, homes, belongings.........all those things are able to be replaced and for me atleast are not the end all to anything. We are all so blessed to have our health and beautiful families and I for one am guilty at times of taking advantage of how great we have it. I put myself in Briannah's Mom's shoes and imagine living my life from the day my daughter was born knowing that someday she would die from her brain tumor, and what that would be like. My heart breaks for her, and encourages me that much more to be the mother that I am to Bailey. We sat down the other night and talked about the economy and what is important to us. We both agree that as long as we have eachother we can and will make it through anything. Posessions are just that, and in the end they are nothing that matters. I know that much worse things can happen, like having to bury a child after 3 short years. Not something anyone ever expects to happen, but it can. I do not put much value into material things and never have, but I vow to try even harder to pour more into my family than ever before, and cherish them every moment of every day! I am so grateful for the wonderful friends and family that we have.

On a lighter note I was able to make another diaper yesterday morning and it came out great! Today I am working on Bailey's Valentines dress which will be fun. I gotta run, Bailey is waking up which means time to make some pancakes! Yum! Happy Friday!

P.S. I included a picture of a book I am currently into called "Raising Baby Green" by Alan Greene...........this book is awesome and full of tons of great info starting on what to do to make sure you have a healthy pregnancy also. I had to post a pic of Bailey my monkey and her monkey "boots" in Flagstaff!

Snow, Snow, Snow!!!

We are back from our mini vacation to Flagstaff and we had a blast!!! It would have been nice to stay a little longer, but Trav must work! lol We are both so thankful every time we take a trip that Bailey is sooooo well behaved. We can travel just like we did before, but now we have such a cute little companion to come along and join in the fun. We always find ourselves talking about how lucky we are to have such a sweet little girl that is so mellow. She did cry for a minute on our way home when we were going through the moutains but that went away when she had a bottle. Before we left though I started to feel a little under the weather and had a little bit of nausea so that was a bad start for me but I was determined to have a great time no matter what. By the time we got there I was running a fever and having some boob issues, I know TMI, but I ended up with another case of mastitis! Ugh! Nothing that antibiotics won't take care of. I just took tyelnol to keep my fever down and fed Bailey whenever I could because that helps also. It was COLD to say the least up there!!!! We are not used to that at all. We ended up heading to snowbowl to play for a bit, but soon realized that it was WAY to cold for Bailey. We went onto the mountain and took a few pics but headed out right after that. We look forward to taking her back when she is old enough to walk and we can sled, snowboard, etc. She seemed to really like the snow, and that is surprising because she seems to have an issue with textures of things lately, grass being one of them. She HATES the feel of grass :) Our hotel room in Flag was perfect for us, and had a jacuzzi in our room so we could warm up after a cold day. I put bubble bath in there which I guess is a no no! lol Bailey was asleep in the other room and I started up the jacuzzi and went to the bathroom. Trav was watching boxing right there on the bed and he said he looked over and the bubbles were halfway up the wall! lol It was hilarious because he wanted to know what I was thinking, but we had a whole conversation about the bubble bath in the tub! He obviously was not listening, but we had a great laugh about it. Our hotel had a happy hour for guests to mingle and have a few drinks so we headed down to enjoy a snack. We plan on staying at this place again, it was that nice. Very comfortable and a great price. Every night stay included a real breakfast of Belgian waffles, eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, biscuits, toast, and tons of other stuff. Turns out Bailey LOVES waffles. We knew she loved pancakes, so she would probably love waffles. It is so neat to sit and eat a meal since she feeds herself for the most part now. Of course not without making a mess, so we find ourselves on the floor picking up food before we leave! We brought her pack n play with us, but after a few hours of sleep she decided it was not comfy enough so we brought her back to bed with us. We have not coslept since she was 2.5 months so it was interesting! She stayed asleep the whole night, but she moved ALOT! It was comical, but nice to have her close again. We did a little shopping, and just had some nice family time. We decided that we are going to try and take a few small vacations a year with Sedona being the next place we plan to go. Yesterday we had planned to head back to snowbowl and do some sledding, but it was very windy and way too cold so we decided to do a bit of shopping and then head home. It was the perfect little trip aside from my poor booby luck! Well Bailey is napping and I am going to join her, just wanted to hop on and share some photos of our first trip to the snow :)